I used to be a big, big fan of Metallica when I was in high school. I still enjoy their music on occasion. But then two things happened, and they happened more or less at the same time: they started to suck —anything after the Black Album is trash, and the Black Album itself is already a departure from classic Metallica, really— and Lars Ulrich produced his now-infamous list of file sharers who were ‘ripping him off’ by illegally downloading Metallica tracks on the original Napster.
The fact that four middle-aged, rock millionaires going through mid-life crises were essentially shaking down Shawn Fanning and co., crying about their ‘lost profits’ like some stupid corporate lapdogs was just too much. Ulrich’s ridiculous stance on file-sharing was even more absurd, considering that anyone even vaguely familiar with the band’s early days knows that Metallica first made their name by word of mouth. Back in the ’80s, when they were poor and metal, they actually encouraged people to make and distribute bootleg tapes of their material. Now that they were rich and washed-out, well, I guess they must look after their profits, no? Cliff Burton must be rolling over in his grave, dammit.
So, done and done. I destroyed my Metallica CDs, downloaded their discography illegally, and forgot about the whole thing.
Cut to a few months ago. Wired posts an article about how ‘Metallica Repents, Sort Of’. It turns out that the Metalli-windbags, after having had less-than-stellar studio outings since the ’90s, and after seeing the likes of Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails pursue successful online distribution strategies, have decided to follow suit, and release their new studio album online. Sort of. They set up a website called ‘Mission Metallica’ (no link love for these jerks), where they have been posting ancilliary material such as in-studio and live performance videos, photos, etc. However, what they won’t be doing is posting their album. On top of that, you have to sign up on the site to be part of their so-called community. Meh.
Upon reading this, I was slightly intrigued, but upon reflection, and upon remembering that Metallica has sucked musically for the last decade or so, I said to myself “Too little, too late,” and moved on.
Now this. It seems that Metallica has had early reviews of their new album pulled from internet sites, even though the reviews stem from a listening party that they themselves set up in London, at which no one was asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement. The kicker? The reviews were apparently (and surprisingly, at least to me) good, and heralded the album as a ‘return to form’.
Idiots. Call me when the abum drops, so that I can go download it illegally and then immediately delete it from my drive, unplayed.
Because there are few things that piss me off more than